The Most Cursed Spring of All
by Dr. Shibui
Summary: When a rash of underwear thefts breaks out Grandfather Soun and Grandpa Genma fear that their evil master has returned from the dead to wreak unholy vengence, now it's up the children of your favorite characters to contend with the Happoniichuan's curse!


**Well, I've finally done it. I've finally started a **_**Ranma ½**_** fanfic. When I was in high school,**

**I loved this manga. It was the best thing a fifteen-year-old could hope for in a comic. Years later, I'm poking around a book store and, somewhat to my surprise, I find that they still sell **_**Ranma**_** and, after flipping through it, I realize not only that I continue to be entertained by slapstick comedy involving breasts (shows how much I've matured;P) but that I've still got a soft spot for the characters. So here it is, my foray into the action-packed, heart-warming, perverted, and down-right hilarious Ranmaverse. Enjoy!**

**Prologue:**

**The Terror of the Happoniichuan**

_Somewhere in the remote mountains of Japan..._

A heavy mist blanketed the forest like a soupy miasma, obscuring everything in the lone monk's path. He wore the trappings of a Zen practitioner and leaned upon a holy staff befitting of his rank as he tirelessly continued his hike. He had dark thoughtful brown eyes and dark hair that was caught into a tail at the nape of his neck. He was young, no more than sixteen years of age, technically an apprentice, too young to be considered a full-fledged monk. However his piety and the diligence with which he studied the Pure Arts had earned him the respect and admiration of both his teachers and fellow students. His name was Mushin, and he had been sent into the misty mountain forest to perform an exorcism.

"A vile evil permeates those mountains," his master had told him the day before he set out. "I have been granted a vision of its domain. A spring. A seemingly harmless hot spring in a mountain forest. But neither bird nor beast dare venture near it, for they sense its accursed nature. Surly it is the work of a demon. The task of exorcizing it falls upon you my pupil. Buddha's mercy be with you..."

So he had been told, but Mushin had been trekking though these foreboding mountains for days and hadn't come across even a supernaturally charged puddle, let alone a demonic hot spring. The more he thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded, but it was the duty of a holy man to pacify evil spirits.

Soon he reached a ravine. The mist had become so thick that it was impossible to determine how deep it was. Mushin considered turning back, but then he noticed how still it had suddenly become. He paused to listen. No birds were singing, no animals were foraging for food. Even the insects had fallen silent. It was just as his master had described, but no hot spring. At the bottom of the ravine perhaps?

Mushin knelt down and squinted, determined to pierce through the roiling veil. He thought he could discern the faint outline of what could possibly be a body of water, but he couldn't tell for certain. Maybe if he chucked a rock down there and listen for a splash he'd know for sure but he hesitated. He was unsure of the exact nature of the evil that held this forest in its grip. If it merely enchanted the spring, then all it would require was a purification ritual. However, if the spirit took on a physical manifestation in response to, oh say, some idiot chucking rocks into its spring and disturbing its slumber...well...

The unpleasant image of some gigantic monstrosity resembling what could possibly be the bastard child of a catfish and an eel slithering up out of the mists in wrath and devouring the hapless monk in one bite flashed through Mushin's mind and he gulped involuntarily.

No.

The best course of action was to find a way down to the haunted spring discreetly and quietly and perform the exorcism there.

Mushin crossed his arms and nodded decisively.

Yes, it was indeed the best course.

Now that left the dilemma of getting down.

Mushin leaned over again to peer down into the mists seeking a foothold or perhaps a ladder, and, while he was dreaming about a universe where every convenience was provided for him, preferably a cute red-head in a hot string bikini...

He promptly bashed himself over the head with his staff, causing the rings to clatter, spin, and jingle in report.

"Pure thoughts," he breathed in time to the throbbing of the lump on his head. "Are the way to inner tranquility."

He tried his best to be pious, but he couldn't help but long for female companionship. Especially one who was stacked...

WHACK!

"Buddha...Bodhidharma...pure thoughts...pure thoughts...that nun with the Kansai dialect and the shapely curves..."

WHACK! WHACK!

"Inner peace...inner peace...inner peace...the cover of the latest edition of _Big'uns_..."

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

"Innerpeaceinnerpeaceinnerpeaceinnerpeace...b-boobies..."

Mushin sat there in a daze for a moment or two, wishing that the bells in his head would stop ringing and that he could remember what he was doing at the edge of a ravine in a misted mountain forest in the first place.

He didn't think he was suicidal...

Suddenly a young man with long dark hair tied back with a striped yellow handkerchief lugging a backpack full of provisions, emerged from the bushes immediately to Mushin's left. He looked about for a moment or two, completely unaware of the barely conscious apprentice monk's presence before sighing dismally, "Lost dad's trail again."

He then turned and bumped right into Mushin, causing him to teeter over the ravine and plummet into the mists below.

It was somewhere between shacking himself out of the delirium brought on by self-induced head trauma and hearing the boy shout, "Hey! Hey mister! Would you happen to know the way to Nerima?" that Mushin recalled, much to his dismay what he was doing at the edge of a ravine in a misted mountain forest. He was there to purify a demonic spring, which judging from the velocity at which the body of water below him was approaching, he was rapidly falling into.

He recalled his vision of the man-eating eel-fish and screamed in terror before he was cut off when he disappeared into the water with a splash.

Ryoma Hibiki peered down into the mists and waited politely for a moment or two before turning on his heel and shrugging, "I guess he was lost too," and trekking down the mountain, hopefully in the direction of his estranged father, or at least some semblance of civilization.

Meanwhile, the demon that Mushin's master had warned him of, was stirring to new life beneath the water of the hot spring. At first there were only bubbles to indicate that there was something moving under the ripples. Then a shape emerged splashing and struggling to be free of its watery prison. It was small in stature with large eyes and sparse cobwebs of hair circling its ears. It gasped and heaved the first breaths it had taken in more than a decade, then sighed and leered at the mists above, a lewd grin twisting its wrinkled lips.

Then it spoke a single word. A word that when uttered with the inflection this creature used, struck fear, disgust, and loathing into the hearts of women everywhere...

"PAAAAAAAAAANTIIIIIIIIIIIIES!"

**Dear God in Heaven, he's back! Plz tell me what you think and be honest, I'd really like feedback on my works to determine whether or not they suck. As always R/R! Shibui out!**


End file.
